On Feb 14, or any other day, don't behave like King Lear
Updated 06:07 PM Feb 14, 2012
When I was studying English literature, the Shakespearean play King Lear left an indelible mark in my memory. King Lear demanded that his three daughters declare their love for him publicly before he apportioned his kingdom to them.
The first two daughters did so, but the third refused and accused her two sisters of lying, as they were married, and so how could they claim to love their father above all men?
The king, feeling insecure, failed to realise that his third daughter was the one who truly loved him.
Now, it is the season for lovers to declare their love openly. Some ladies would demand that flowers be sent to the office, so that everyone may see how much she is loved. Some demand a candlelight dinner, with a hotel stay.
Businessmen have usurped Valentine's Day as an occasion to be celebrated with a dozen roses, a diamond ring and even a declaration of one's love in the classified advertisements. I pity the poor gentlemen who have to live up to these ads.
But what is love? Does fulfilling all these expectation demonstrate it? If a lady is confronted with two lovers who both give her flowers, does she choose the one with the bigger bouquet?
If we know the story of King Lear, we would realise that words of love do not equate to love. Similarly, demanding that one's boyfriend fulfill expectations shaped by public relations and ad agencies shows that one does not really understand what love is.
William Blake said it succinctly in his poem, The Clod and the Pebble that "love seeketh not itself to please, nor for itself has any care; but for another gives its ease, and builds a heaven in hell's despair".
This Feb 14, perhaps the man may finally see if the woman he loves truly loves him.
Knowing the higher costs of roses, a candlelight dinner and diamond rings, would she release him from this annual torture and be confident enough to tell him that she does not need these to realise that he loves her.
My husband and I have been married for over 23 years, and we realised that every day can be Valentine's Day. We spend at least an hour each day walking around the neighbourhood, free from the demands of daily living and our children.
We are as much in love as we were two decades ago, but the love has mellowed, secure in the knowledge that we have committed ourselves to each other. Best of all, we never behave like King Lear. We just behave like lovers, as it should be.
The writer is a wife of one, and mother of six
The first two daughters did so, but the third refused and accused her two sisters of lying, as they were married, and so how could they claim to love their father above all men?
The king, feeling insecure, failed to realise that his third daughter was the one who truly loved him.
Now, it is the season for lovers to declare their love openly. Some ladies would demand that flowers be sent to the office, so that everyone may see how much she is loved. Some demand a candlelight dinner, with a hotel stay.
Businessmen have usurped Valentine's Day as an occasion to be celebrated with a dozen roses, a diamond ring and even a declaration of one's love in the classified advertisements. I pity the poor gentlemen who have to live up to these ads.
But what is love? Does fulfilling all these expectation demonstrate it? If a lady is confronted with two lovers who both give her flowers, does she choose the one with the bigger bouquet?
If we know the story of King Lear, we would realise that words of love do not equate to love. Similarly, demanding that one's boyfriend fulfill expectations shaped by public relations and ad agencies shows that one does not really understand what love is.
William Blake said it succinctly in his poem, The Clod and the Pebble that "love seeketh not itself to please, nor for itself has any care; but for another gives its ease, and builds a heaven in hell's despair".
This Feb 14, perhaps the man may finally see if the woman he loves truly loves him.
Knowing the higher costs of roses, a candlelight dinner and diamond rings, would she release him from this annual torture and be confident enough to tell him that she does not need these to realise that he loves her.
My husband and I have been married for over 23 years, and we realised that every day can be Valentine's Day. We spend at least an hour each day walking around the neighbourhood, free from the demands of daily living and our children.
We are as much in love as we were two decades ago, but the love has mellowed, secure in the knowledge that we have committed ourselves to each other. Best of all, we never behave like King Lear. We just behave like lovers, as it should be.
The writer is a wife of one, and mother of six
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